Musings

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="04500640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000066" FACE="Arial" ><B>Go Piper!</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#000099" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT><B>    |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Go Piper!"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <B>Musings</B>   |   <A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Photo Album"><U>Photo Album</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Favorite Locations"><U>Favorite Locations</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Submit Your Own!"><U>Submit Your Own!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Calendar"><U>Calendar</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Search For Related Links"><U>Search For Related Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Guest Book"><U>Guest Book</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#0000BF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="06ea06b0.jpg" border=0 width="160" height="107" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Tolkien" ><B> </B></FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>     Have you got a favorite humorous story concerning the Noble Pipes?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>    Share it with us.  Email it to </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>pops@gopiper.com</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Tolkien" ><B> </B></FONT><B>and if it passes muster we'll post it here to share with the world!</B></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Musings</I></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>  <a href="http://ult-tex.net/counts/index.cgi"> <img src="http://ult-tex.net/counts/pats/bans/17.jpg" width="468" height="60" border="0" alt="St. Patrick's Day countdown banner"></a>  </div> <bR> <bR> <div> A man walks into an antique store, and starts looking around. All of the sudden he spies a huge BRASS RAT in the corner. He falls in love with it, and so he takes it to the cashier. </div> <div> "The rat, eh?" says the old grizzly cashier "um, yeah...how much?" replies our friend "Well, five bucks for the rat -- but 200 dollars for the story," he replied. "I'll just take the rat, without the story." Says the customer. </div> <div> He leaves the store, his precious brass rat tucked under his arm. Soon he begins to notice that a few rats are following him. He walks a few more blocks and the number of rats behind him increased. This continued, until there were virtually millions of rats behind him. </div> <div> Afraid of this mass following, the man ran to the sea and threw the rat in. All of the rats plunged in after it, and met their watery deaths. </div> <div> The man ran back to the antique store. The old cashier was chuckling to himself. "So now do you want the story?" "No," said the man, "but have you got any brass bagpipers?" </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> It seems that a pipe band on its way to a competition got lost, and after many fruitless hours of searching down dirt roads in the dark, they came upon a farm house, and decided to ask to spend the night there. </div> <div> The farmer told them he would be glad if they spent the night, but he said “I only have two spare rooms, some of you will have to stay in the barn. It's clean, dry, and warm, but I keep a cow and a pig in there.” </div> <div> The band, after discussing it among themselves and tossing a coin, decided that the P/M would stay in one room, the drummers would stay in one room, and the pipers would stay in the barn. So they all went to bed.</div> <div> A short while later, there was a knock on the door. It was the pipers. They said “There's a cow in there. He's mooing, urinating, defecating, passing gas, kicking the stall, and guys, we just can't do it. Besides, we hate cows.” So the drummers said that they would stay in the barn, and they all went to bed.</div> <div> A short while later, there was a knock on the door. It was the drummers. They said “There's a pig in there. He's oinking, urinating, defecating, passing gas, wallowing in the mud, and guys, we just can't do it. Besides, we hate pigs.” </div> <div> So the P/M said “You guys aren't men enough to take it. I'll stay in the barn.” So they all went to bed.</div> <div> A short while later, there was a knock on the door… It was the cow and the pig. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> Why God loves the Irish so much</div> <bR> <div> True story. When I was in Korea, as an additional duty, I was the CG's Piper.</div> <bR> <div> For Christmas, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders visited us, and had a formal dinner in the CG's Mess. I piped them over the stone bridge leading to the mess.</div> <bR> <div> Then one of my friends, who was sitting with several of the ladys and their escorts, beconned me over. "She has a question for you."</div> <bR> <div> The little girl blushed and stammered and finally said, "What do you wear under your kilts?"</div> <bR> <div> And I said, "Th' Lord love yez, me darlin'! Th' barbarous Scots wear nothin' atall under th' kilt. Sure and we Irish are more civilized! We wear th' same t'ing, but we tie a knot in it to keep it from dhraggin' th' ground." :-)</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> On that note.</div> <bR> <div> Two sweet young things were walkin alang an spied a young Scot asleep under a tree. Curious about what wis really worn under the kilt, they gently lifted it. Satisfied, one of them removed her blue hair ribbion an tied it around his John Thomas. On waking up an going ta relieve himself he spied the ribbon. Ah don know whaur ye've been but Ah see ye've won first prize!</div> <bR> <div> Sweet young thing ta Scot. Whuts worn under the kilt? </div> <div> Reply; "Gie me yer haund wummin"</div> <bR> <div> Little girl crawling on tha floor an looks under her Faithers kilt.</div> <div> "Whuts them for Da?</div> <div> Faither's reply; Four? FOUR?</div> <bR> <div> On the set of Braveheart, Mel Gibson asks Scotsman whats worn under the kilt?</div> <div> Reply; Yer wife's lipstick!</div> <bR> <div> Agin, sweet young thing asks whuts worn under the kilt?</div> <div> Reply; Nuthin, it's all in guid workin order! </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Bagpiper's Story</div> <bR> <div> As a young bagpiper, I was asked by a Funeral Director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.  The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.</div> <bR> <div> As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place.  I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch.</div> <bR> <div>  I played out my heart and soul.  As I played the workers began to weep. I played, and I played, like I'd never played before: From My Home & The Lord is my Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest.  I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.  As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another,</div> <bR> <div> "Sweet Jeezuz, Mary'n Joseph ... I never seen nothin' like that before - and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years." </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I> </I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I><B><U>READINGTON —</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> The expression "teed off" took on a different meaning after a golfer at the Stanton Ridge Country Club began hitting golf balls at other players. According to police, Michael Bockmiller, 57, of Whitehouse Station was upset because a bagpiper was playing music on the 17th green during a golf outing earlier this week. He then began yelling at golfers and hitting balls at them from his backyard, police said.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Bockmiller was arrested and charged with simple assault and disorderly conduct.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <I><B><U>You know your taking yourself WAY too serious when....</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> A friendly wink and a wave is usually a good welcoming gesture, particularly when the recipient is your newly-elected President.</div> <div> However it cost one band-member his place in a band after he was caught tipping his head in the direction of Barack Obama during his inauguration celebrations in Washington last week.</div> <div> Ohio firefighter <B>John Coleman, Drum Major of the </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><B><U>Cleveland Firefighter’s Memorial Pipes & Drums</U></B></FONT>, has been given a six-month suspension from his role in a pipe and drum band after CNN caught him giving the nod along with a fleeting wave.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I><B><U>Busking bagpiper arrested for causing 'distress' to local shoppers</U></B></I> </div> <div> By <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Arial" ><U>David Wilkes</U></FONT></div> <div> Last updated at 1:46 AM on 22nd December 2008</div> <bR> <div> A busker playing the bagpipes has been arrested for causing a breach of the peace.  Shaun Cartwright was handcuffed and driven to the police station in Bridport, Dorset, and his beloved pipes were seized. He was accused of causing 'distress' to shoppers - which came as a great surprise to Mr Cartwright, 38, as he had made £50 in just an hour of playing.  Officers told busker Mr Cartwright his piping had annoyed members of the public in Bridport, Dorset, and detained him for a breach of the peace. He was handcuffed and driven to a police station while his pipes were seized.  Mr Cartwright, an accomplished piper who has been playing for more than 25 years, was later released. He was told it was not in the public interest to press charges and his pipes were returned to him.</div> <bR> <div> Piper Shaun Cartwright was arrested and fingerprinted and had his bagpipes seized.  He said: 'I'd been playing for almost an hour outside Superdrug in the main street and made about £20 more than I'd normally get in an hour, so it clearly wasn't causing that much offence.  'It's not as if anyone asked me to move before the police arrived.   'But a shopkeeper called the police and two officers turned up saying they had a complaint and they had to respond to it.  'They asked me to move on but I wanted to finish my hour of playing and put the blow stick to my mouth and that was it. I was handcuffed, put in the back of a police car and taken to the station.  'My bagpipes were taken away and I had my fingerprints done.'</div> <bR> <div> Englishman Mr Cartwright, from Bristol, was released after an hour. He was told the case wasn't being taken any further when he answered his bail five days later.  He said: 'It was a waste of everybody's time.  'People are prejudice against the bagpipes. People may not like the sound of them but that doesn't give them the right to get the police to come along and hassle you.'  Mr Cartwright learned to play the pipes after a childhood holiday to Scotland. He travels across England and Scotland playing, with a repertoire including traditional Scots music as well as tunes like Amazing Grace and Mull of Kintyre by Paul McCartney and Wings.  Dorset Police confirmed they had arrested Mr Cartwright and released him without charge.</div> <div> Inspector Alan Jenkins said: 'He was given strong words of advice because of the distress he had caused shopkeepers and passers-by.'</div> <div> It is not the first time Mr Cartwirght, who estimates he has played in 400 towns and cities, has had a run-in with the authorities over his bagpipes.</div> <div> <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >He said:</FONT> <I><B>'I've been arrested six times and it's always in England.</B></I> <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >The south is the worst for getting hassle. But I've never been prosecuted.</FONT></div> <div> 'I know in my heart the public are on buskers' side. But the prejudice from authorities and shops is just getting worse and worse.'</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="08b5c780.jpg" border=0 width="92" height="120" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I><B><U>Unacceptable, unless of course it can turn a profit...</U></B></I></div> <bR> <div> Barrie</div> <div> Monday, January 19, 2009</div> <div> Singing a new song about buskers </div> <div> Author: Laurie Watt, STAFF</div> <div> Date: Dec 31, 2008 </div> <bR> <div>      Outlawed several years ago in a bid to clean up downtown, street musicians may once again be performing downtown.  Barrie's cultural department staff will examine reintroducing buskers in the city core. Deemed to be panhandlers, the musicians faced loitering charges when the city passed its nuisance Bylaw in May 2004. The bylaw lumped them in with those who intimidate pedestrians and who cluttered the sidewalks.  Now, however, thinking is changing.  "The informal programming of our public spaces in the downtown, through controlled busking, will provide a stage for the talented artists in our community to engage at the street level with the public," said Richard Forward, Barrie's development, infrastructure and culture general manager.  One of the city's strategic priorities is to use arts and culture to stimulate economic development. University of Toronto economics professor Dr. Richard Florida advocates putting the arts in public spaces – to <I><B>allow creative folks to plug into their community and create a sense of space and wellbeing – to attract the wealth-generating "creative class"</B></I> which includes architects, engineers, scientists and IT innovators.  "Buskers can be a very positive addition that can liven up public spaces," said Ward 2 Coun. Jeff Lehman, who represents the downtown core. "In other cities, they are asked to audition and this results in great performers on the sidewalk."</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="0a564820.jpg" border=0 width="100" height="130" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div>        "To the make of a piper goes seven years of his own learning, and seven generations before. At the end of his seven years one born to it will stand at the start of knowledge, and leaning a fond ear to the drone he may have parley with old folks of old affairs."</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> -Neil Munro</div> <div>        "So, if the rest of us be but 'hacks', then screw them all!  Let's party."   - Pops</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="0a764820.jpg" border=0 width="100" height="130" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>         </B></div> </td> </tr></table></body>